Invictus

It's time. Time to dust off the cobwebs from this blog and bring life back into it and myself (so to speak). Since my last entry, which I can't believe was back in April, I have basically been dealing with a roller coaster of injuries.  Expect the unexpected and 2011 has been a year of injuries for me.  My last race was in August and basically my left IT Band was trashed after that race.  Not so much a race for me since after Mile 7, I just wanted to get to the finish line in one piece.  So, I basically haven't really worked out since the end of August, traveled a lot in September and October realized I needed change.  During October I did a 30 day challenge where I was a full vegetarian.  Not a far stretch since I'm already a pescatarian but it was a little hard thinking before I eat and ruling out more things when I would be out at restaurants.

November is here and again, I decided to give myself another 30 day challenge.  This month I will swim in the pool at least 15 times.  There, I said it, time to keep my word...and I'm a woman of my word.  Now we're into day 6 of the month and I honestly haven't gone swimming yet.  More reason I had to go public with this challenge, ha!  I did however start running again and even this morning ran 4 miles with my dog.  I signed him up for a 5k in January and we may run a 10k this month.  It was the first time both of us ran in months, but we did great and I actually enjoyed it. See, ever since my half marathon in August, I lost my love for running.  I'm not sure if it was from getting injured again or just mentally, I honestly didn't like running about a month before the race.  And afterwards, just going to track practice for an hour was just blah and frustrating for me.  I decided to take a break and just start working out to exercise rather than "train for an event"....when I was ready.  Well, November 1st came and I was ready.  Ready to start exercising again doing whatever, just exercise!  And that's where INVICTUS comes into play.

If I'm ever asked to describe myself in one word, I always say, "Invictus".  It's a poem by William Ernest Henley. I know it by heart and can totally relate to it.  It's time for me to be master of my fate and make some changes, take action.  I don't know if it's the fact I've been on a 3 month break from seriously exercising along with looking at what the scale's been telling me lately or the fact I'm on a break from wearing my skinny jeans these days, but I'm ready and not in a "all or nothing" kind of way.  I've been working out the past few weeks and truly am enjoying it.  I think the past few years of constantly training for an event have caught up to me and honestly, as soon as I was cleared in June to run again, I did.  And I ran hard, trained hard and realized I became a robot about it.  I lost the joy in it and well, my latest IT band injury was a wake up call since I have used running as my fall back form of exercise.  Not to mention that was one of my worst races ever!  All I have been doing for the past two years is run.  But I think this last injury made me realize I need to try something new and push myself out of my comfort zone.  And so, I will become a swimmer.  I will no longer have an oil and water kind of relationship with water.  I don't think of it as facing my fear, but building my confidence and courage to do the unthinkable of open water swimming in a triathlon (at least for me).

Maybe it's the extra hour of sleep I got last night from Daylight's savings time, but I just fell rejuvenated and full of life again.  And on that note, I end with the poem Invictus by William Ernst Henley:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

If it's important to you, you will find a way.  If not, you will find an excuse.